Welcome to the Weekend Writing Warriors, the perfect place to discover new authors and fall in love with their writing. Each Sunday we share 8 to 10 sentences from a current or finished manuscript. Click here for the rest of the amazing writers participating.
Now that From Prussia With Love (currently only $4,49 at Loose Id;) has been released into the wild, I’m back to my contemporary WIP, currently named Blindsided. We left off here with Reacher, the dog, playing matchmaker and climbing into Ana’s backseat without her realising. She of course called Jace as soon as she could and he’s arrived at her office to pick up the dog. We’re in Ana’s POV.
“A moment later he strode up the stairs. Damn, she nearly swallowed her tongue-he’d been hot as hell in his overall, but now he wore a t-shirt with some rock band on the front and jeans old enough they followed every line of his magnificent body.
He came to a stop in front of her.
He raised his brows. “Where’s Reacher?”
Ana realized she was making a fool of herself and wanted to sink into the floor; instead she straightened her shoulders and smiled. “Please call me Ana,” she opened the door that had locked behind her when she’d stepped onto the landing, “as your dog’s kidnapper I think we should be on first name basis.”
What works, what doesn’t?
Happy Sunday, Happy Labour Day Weekend and have a fabulous week! And here is some more research:
It all works, Tina. You’re really into the dog’s name and I can tell that’s the name of a super popular series and movie titled Reacher. Consider it once more and now I won’t say another word. You’ve set up a charming romance here and the dog is a great part of it. Well done.
Thanks, Charmaine. For now the dog is Reacher. Once I start on revisions I will revisit;).
Ooh, I can really see him striding up the stairs in those old jeans. Fun snippet. And don’t you love this kind of research? I asked my friends last night who their favorite SF hunks are and we ended up spending hours doing “research” instead of writing. They didn’t complain much.
Ohh, I can’t wait to see your post;). Thank you, Alexis.
I liked it. It has the tense face to face moment between the hero and the heroine. In terms of what works, I think it all works 🙂 I would suggest adding more reasons for why she felt like a fool. Is it because she was staring? It didn’t seem like much since they were speaking to one another and I didn’t sense a long pause in their exchange. Cant wait to follow along with this one. Many sales on the new release!!
Thanks for the good wishes, Michelle. Good point on her feeling silly. I’ll make a note and see if it stays or goes during revisions;).
I can see why she’s feeling a bit, er, bothered. But at least she’s keeping her cool outwardly, for now. 😀
She’s trying her best;). Thanks, Christina!
I agree with Char re the dog’s name, it reminds the reader every time of someone else’s book series so why do that to yourself? I’m supposing the hero is a fan of the Reacher series? BUT enjoyed the excerpt and loved the line about first name basis with the dog’s kidnapper!
For right now he’s Reacher. I’m 70k into the story and don’t want to change things until I’m starting revisions. I’m definitely hearing you guys and will try to come up with a solution that works for the story. Thanks, Veronica.
Look at that, er, “research”…drool. Quite a job we have, isn’t it Tina? LOL
Love the snippet. Her reaction to seeing him again was quite satisfying. (And yeah, where IS Reacher? Did she leave him in the car?)
Thanks, J Rose. Reacher’s holding court at her desk;).
““…as your dog’s kidnapper I think we should be on first name basis.” <– Perfect! lol. You're writing great chemistry already. 🙂
I agree with those who loved the ‘kidnapper’ line. Will she follow it up with ransom demands? I kiss, perhaps?
uh, I kind of lost my train of thought with those research pics…
oh yeah, I liked how she referred to herself as his dog’s kidnapper, and her reaction to his physical appearance. Nice.
Well, who wouldn’t stare at that?
I’m not sure if it’s an edit to make the sentence count, but the bit after she says her name, before she finishes the thought, seemed a little long.
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