Weekend Writing Warriors-New WIP Snippet 4

Welcome to the Weekend Writing Warriors, the perfect place to discover new authors and fall in love with their writing. Each Sunday we share 8 to 10 sentences from a current or finished manuscript. Click here for the rest of the amazing writers participating.

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The new story so far has no title and no blurb. This snippet is a page or two after last week’s. Ana needed help with her car and Jace agreed to look at it that afternoon, but when he realized she needed the car he checked it out right then and there. He found something that could have been the cause of the red light and fixes it. I thought after spending some time with Jace we should hang out with Ana for a bit and see her response to Jace. She’s just left the garage and hopes the problem has been dealt with, once and for all. We are in Ana’s point of view.

“Maybe a tiny bit of a shame as out of all the garages she’d been to and all the mechanics she’d spoken to in the last couple of weeks Jace Deegan definitely stood out. He was big. She stood at five nine and he still towered over her. And even in his overall he was ripped. He’d look fabulous on the front cover of one the romance novels she bought for her day job. Maybe with a shoulder holsters over his bare chest. Or, even better, his overall curled up around his waist, his chest gleaming with sweat and a touch of grease, and a wrench or whatever a mechanic holds in his hand.

No face because readers wanted to use their own imagination for the hero, which in this instance would be a real shame as his face matched his body. She had a feeling his shoulder-length blond hair would turn lighter once the sun came out. And those green eyes-Ana sighed.”

What works, what doesn’t?

The PanAm Games have come to Toronto. Usually I would avoid downtown like the plague but it’s a friend’s birthday, so I will brave the masses. At least the Games mean that all public transport will actually be running.

And of course some more inspiration…

chris-hemsworth-435 JaredMechanic02 sexy m 5

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About Tina Christopher

Erotic Romance writer

Posted on July 12, 2015, in Weekend Writing Warrior, Writing and tagged , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 23 Comments.

  1. Even if her problem is fixed, I bet she’ll find some reason to come back.

    Why is the hero shirtless? Because. 😉

  2. Oh, do you live in Toronto? I’m not sure I knew that. I’ve been following the games. Love that it’s so close to home. 🙂 As for this excerpt, I very much enjoyed it! Sometimes when I see an attractive man in public, I imagine him on the cover of a romance novel. lol

  3. I want the job of the person who artfully applies the grease. Very fun snippet. I”m right there with her, designing that cover.

  4. Nice hot inner thoughts. They will meet again even if she has to smash something he can fix.

  5. She may think she’s analyzing his charms because of her day job but underneath I think she’s highly intrigued! A fun snippet and I have quite the mental picture of him now!

  6. Great description, Tina. I think I’d enjoy her job! 🙂

    (Is that a Hemsworth in first image?)

  7. Thanks, Tina. I AM inspired. 😉

    Good snippet–I enjoyed being in her mind while she explored possibilities. 🙂

  8. chellecordero

    I had to read the snippet twice to get the full effect, the quotes at the beginning and end threw me, at first I thought she was mumbling to herself and it got confusing.
    The 2nd pass was much better.
    Jace sounds confused as to how she feels about Jace, attracted for sure but I think SHE THINKS she shouldn’t be. …and from the description I’m interested. He sounds yummy.
    (shouldn’t it be singular, not holsters?)

  9. Love the way she imagines him. Nice way to show us what he looks like (and what he could look like!).

  10. I particularly enjoyed how she meshed her appreciation of Jace’s body with her work, so that worked well. Using ‘ripped’ so close to ‘overall’ threw me a bit. I guess I didn’t read it closely enough, so I thought his clothes were torn. 😉

  11. It’s nice to know Jace wasn’t too stressed out about Ana’s presence to be not be helpful. And… it’s nice to see that Ana is happy with the service she got… but… I get this feeling that neither of them actually got what they really wanted.

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