Weekend Writing Warriors-Tangled Redemption Snippet 8
Welcome to the Weekend Writing Warriors. Each Sunday we share 8 sentences from a current or finished manuscript. Click here for the rest of the amazing writers participating.
I am continuing to share parts of Tangled Redemption, book 4 in the Celestial Surrender series. I still don’t have a blurb;). We first meet Sydney in Tangled Hunger, book 2 of the Celestial Surrender series. She ends up kidnapped by Miguel, a Vampire who has the impossible task of balancing the survival of one with that of a galaxy. And then there is Jayden. His one mission is to take out the Big Bad, but now he has to balance her life with his job.
Tangled Redemption is a Sci-Fi story and takes place in a universe inhabited by humans, Vampires and Naema, a race that has been likened to angels. There is a tenuous peace between the three races, but a faction of the Vampires, the Ferals, does not want to bow down to human law. You could say there is a smidgeon of tension between them and the rest of the galaxy, expressed through a kill-on-sight order against them.
This snippet is a little after last week’s. Sydney, Miguel and Marissa just arrived at the Feral Compound on a planet Sydney cannot identify. They are now before the Big Bad, Nasir Zwelenki, and he is not what Sydney expected. We are in her point of view.
“Shouldn’t a monster look like one? Instead the man before her was tall and slender, clean-shaven, eyes so light blue they were nearly grey. He smiled. Wearing a hand-made suit and razor-sharp creased trousers at first glance appeared no different from any other lobbyist or attention-seeker she’d seen in her father’s office.
It was only when she studied him more closely she recognized the cruel tilt to his lips, the lines around his eyes that did not come from laughter. Her stomach rolled when she realized he reminded her of her dead husband Marius. The hairs on the back of her neck rose.
Sydney counted her breaths.”
Work has once again been insane this last week. I am now thinking about going away for the long weekend. Not very far, just a couple of days away from everything. If things come together that may work. Marissa is still being very uncooperative, as are Tank and Finn, meaning my outline for their story hasn’t gone very far. I am hoping to spend today in the coffee shop away from distractions and get it done. Fingers crossed!
Have an amazing week and as always Happy Writing!
Posted on August 24, 2014, in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink. 24 Comments.
Oh, I like this! I think the story possibilities are so much greater when the monster doesn’t look like one. Excellent description of him.
Description and inner thoughts are written well. Cruel lips are scary. Thanks, Tina.
I shudder at he subtle hints of evil…isn’t such wickedness often hidden behind a glamorous front?
Ah yes, the characters with minds of their own LOL. Best wishes on the writing and I loved the snippet, as always with your words.
Thank you, Veronica!
Oh yes, the worst monsters are those that look the most respectable!
Not the best association she could make . . . breathtaking snippet, Tina. 🙂
Thank you, Sarah.
I like the description.
Thank you, Sue Ann.
A beautiful facade often covers dreadful evil. Well done.
Thank you, Elaine.
I like that opening question: “Shouldn’t a monster look like one?” It shows her naivete, yet her ability to see past the facade once she really looks. Nicely done, Tina! 🙂
Thank you, Teresa.
Freaking scary! You have me holding my breath!
Thank you, Millie, that is quite the compliment.
Not all monsters look monstrous–and those are often the scariest kind.
Great description! Some really wonderful lines in this snippet. I hope you can convince your characters to cooperate because I can’t wait to read this story.
Thank you, Alexis. Your words to my characters’ ears;).
Very nice vivid descriptions of the man. Great snippet!
Thank you, Frank.