Weekend Writing Warriors-Tangled Redemption Snippet 3
Welcome to the Weekend Writing Warriors. Each Sunday we share 8 sentences from a current or finished manuscript. Click here for the rest of the amazing writers participating.
I am continuing to share the opening of my WIP, Tangled Redemption, book 4 in the Celestial Surrender series. It is not yet finished and has not been polished;). I don’t have a blurb yet either, but I will try and give you some context.
My heroine is Sydney. We meet her for the first time in Tangled Hunger, book 2 of the Celestial Surrender series. Circumstances I cannot go into without spoiling everything result in her being kidnapped by a Vampire who has the impossible task of balancing the survival of one with that of a galaxy. Tangled Redemption is a Sci-Fi story and takes place in a universe inhabited by humans, Vampires and Naema, a race that has been likened to angels. There is a tenuous peace between the three races, but a faction of the Vampires, the Ferals, does not want to bow down to human law. You could say there is a smidgeon of tension between them and the rest of the galaxy, expressed through a kill-on-sight order against them.
This snippet is immediately after last week’s. Sydney has just killed a Feral and faces two more when the man responsible for her kidnapping walks in.
“He appeared to grasp the situation with one look and grabbed the nearest Feral, killing him with a quick twist of that neck. The third attacker froze, his beady eyes jumping between her and Tall, Dark and Dangerous.
Sydney took a couple of steps back to give herself more room. She would fight to the bitter end.
“Honorable Radnall, what are you planning to do?” He was taller than her, something that didn’t happen that often. His skin was darkly tanned and his black eyes gave nothing away. With every movement, every inch of his muscular body, he showed her he was a warrior.
She had trained with men like him, had been taught by them, but she had never managed to best even one of them.”
This is still very raw, so any and all comments are welcome. I will be in the writing cage all day as I am hoping to finish the first draft today, so I won’t come around until later in the day.
Have an amazing week and as always Happy Writing!
Posted on July 20, 2014, in Tangled Hunger, Tangled Indulgence, Tangled Shadows, Weekend Writing Warrior, Writing and tagged angels, celestial surrender, erotic, feedback, finding my way, galaxy, naema, sci-fi, series, sexy, steamy, tangled hunger, tangled indulgence, tangled shadows, universe, vampires, work in progress, writing. Bookmark the permalink. 25 Comments.
tinachristopherauthor.com 
I love this snippet. Description and actions are wonderful and dynamic. Good writing, Tina.
Thank you, Charmaine.
Oh…the delicious dilemma… 🙂 Your descriptive writing is wonderful, Tina. 🙂
Thank you, Teresa;).
Tense situation, I love the way your hero reacts immediately to the situation. Can’t wait to see what happens next! Great 8…
Thank you, Veronica.
I’m not sure who is speaking—I’m assuming she is and he’s Randall?—but I find the whole thing intriguing.
He’s a feral with good motives?
Thanks for pointing out your confusion. I will make sure to fix it:).
Great action and then assessment by her
Thank you, Angela…he is rather yummy;).
Very evocative scene. The simple description of him tells so much, and his words even more. Great 8.
Thank you, Sarah.
So whose side is tall, dark and dangerous on?
No one knows;).
Love the description of Mr. T,D & D. The last line is surprising, in a good way. I was also confused about who Honorable Randall is since we don’t know Sydney’s last name. Nice eight.
Ah, good point. I will fix that so the reader knows who he is addressing. Thank you!
That last line doesn’t give her much hope, does it…
No, not much hope indeed;).
I like the ‘tall, dark, and dangerous,’ This is only a snippet, so this may happen elsewhere–but do you have some sort of explanation why she’s been taught and trained and still can’t beat these guys?
Thank you, Caitlin. You learn about that when you learn more about her story. Is it confusing at this point not to know?
It was the first question that sprang to my mind, but not all questions have to be answered right away. 😉
I like her assessment of TD&D – her awareness of him and of her surroundings definitely helps to heighten tension.
Thank you, Chelle.
Love the action! Love the drama! And this, I love this: With every movement, every inch of his muscular body, he showed her he was a warrior. Wonderful description, Tina! 🙂
Thank you, Evelyn. Once in a while there is a line I really love. That is one of them;).