Weekend Writing Warriors-Tangled Redemption Snippet 2
Welcome to the Weekend Writing Warriors. Each Sunday we share 8 sentences from a current or finished manuscript. Click here for the rest of the amazing writers participating.
Today I am sharing the opening of my current WIP, Tangled Redemption, book 4 in the Celestial Surrender series. It is not yet finished and has not been polished;). I don’t have a blurb yet either, but I will try and give you some context.
My heroine is Sydney. We meet her for the first time in Tangled Hunger, book 2 of the Celestial Surrender series. Circumstances I cannot go into without spoiling everything result in her being kidnapped by a Vampire who has the impossible task of balancing the survival of one with that of a galaxy. Tangled Redemption is a Sci-Fi story and takes place in a universe inhabited by humans, Vampires and Naema, a race that has been likened to angels. There is a tenuous peace between the three races, but a faction of the Vampires, the Ferals, does not want to bow down to human law. You could say there is a smidgeon of tension between them and the rest of the galaxy, expressed through a kill-on-sight order against them.
This snippet is immediately after last week’s and from the opening paragraphs of the story. Sydney faces three Ferals who are not about to invite her for tea and she smiled at them…In order to give you the whole snippet I had to use creative punctuation.
“The lead Feral’s gaze narrowed.
She didn’t give him a chance to respond, but leaped and rammed her knee into his groin. He folded over with a whimper; she grabbed a hunk of his hair and slammed the bottom of her palm into his nose. Cartilage crunched as she jammed the shattered bones into his brain.
Eyes wide he dropped to the floor; dead.
Sydney panted; her hand found the cold synth-metal wall of the spaceship for a second, before straightening again. She stopped herself from rubbing her sore hand; the other two Ferals gaped at her. She wanted to smirk, but she’d lost the advantage of surprise-they recovered and converged on her; before they had even taken one step the door slid open and Tall, Dark and Dangerous, the man—no, the Vampire—responsible for her kidnapping, strode in.”
This is still very raw, so any and all comments are welcome.
Have an amazing week and as always Happy Writing!
Posted on July 13, 2014, in Tangled Hunger, Tangled Indulgence, Tangled Shadows, Uncategorized, Weekend Writing Warrior, Writing and tagged angels, celestial surrender, erotic, feedback, finding my way, galaxy, naema, sci-fi, series, sexy, steamy, tangled hunger, tangled indulgence, tangled shadows, universe, vampires, work in progress, writing. Bookmark the permalink. 26 Comments.
Wow, talk about a kick-ass, able to take care of herself, heroine! I like her. Although the creative punctuation makes the snippet a little difficult to read, I like the snippet. I just know you’re going to do great things with this story!
I agree with Jess,this heroine can certainly take care of herself. You used a brutal and effective way for her to kill someone, the description was very well done. Can’t wait to see what happens with the Vampire.
You’re sooo good at writing action sequences. It feels a little bit rushed but I think that’s just the punctuation. Normal punctuation and it would be just fine, I think:)
Dynamite, Tina. Love the quick action before the other vamps have a chance to move. What a woman.
Thank you, Charmaine.
Wow, great action scene. Sydney is woman not to be messed with, but I look forward to Mr. Tall, Dark and Dangerous giving it a shot. Great snippet.
Lol, let’s hope he lives up to expectations;). Thank you.
You’ve balanced BAMFness with impossible odds, and excellent timing in one brief snippet!
I agree with everyone else—you have a definite talent for action scenes!
Thank you, Sarah.
Argh! What a tense, exciting snippet and a great cliff hanger!
Thank you, Gemma.
Highly dramatic, she’s tough and effective. Can’t wait to see hwat happens next – excellent excerpt!
Thank you, Veronica. I hope your toe is better.
Love it…great action. I love the crunch of cartilage : )
Lol, thank you, Millie. It’s that sound in the morning…;)
Love the imagery of her beating him up. Great scene!
Thank you, Frank. How is Spain working out for you?
I got back last week.
I trust Tall, Dark and Dangerous is not a feral.
Right now the reader doesn’t know.
Gripping! I think it does an excellent job of grabbing the reader and not letting go until Tall, Dark and Dangerous walks in. Wonderful job, Tina. 🙂
Thank you, Teresa.
Wow, she’s pretty kick-@ss. I especially like the realistic bit of her hurting herself a little.
This may be the creative punctuation, but you have “her hand found … before straightening again.’ Unless her hand is straightening, that needs tweaking.
Thank you, Caitlin, I’ll check that.
Cartilage crunching. Eep! Sounds so painful. I wonder what Tall, Dark, and Dangerous is gonna do. If I were him I’d stay at least ten feet away from her. lol. Great job!
Thank you, Evelyn.